Cycles

Cycles are integral systems of how our world works. To name a few, First Nations communities have a medicine wheel and there are plenty of weather cycles we can refer to. Naturally you’d think it’s a good thing. It’s a routine and it probably, unknowingly keeps us grounded. But what happens when you’re caught in a poverty cycle or the vicious cycle of depression? Not all cycles are positive. While I’m fortunate to not be in either, there is one particular cycle I’m writing about today.

The menstrual cycle as it relates to conceiving.
We keep trying, and it keeps coming.

To the couples out there who are trying to conceive but are not yet successful, I applaud you.
Your patience, your optimism, your hopefulness and your resilience.

But perhaps you’re like me.
You’re trying, and it keeps coming back.
You’re mad, confused, impatient and frustrated at this seemingly self-inflicted pain.
Allowing yourself to be hopeful and to feel sad.

Perhaps the greatest lesson here is the gift of patience, the practice of healthy optimism and the ability to appreciate and show gratitude despite tough times. This 6-going-on7-month process is teaching me to give myself permission to feel all my feelings-emotions, to share them unapologetically and to communicate clearly in my relationship.

But most of all, it’s knowing that at the end of the day, A is there and we’re together despite whatever happens. Perhaps we’re building our foundation…